No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
