would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
