Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
