I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
