I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
