Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
