i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize