What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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