did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
