Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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