I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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