i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I should be sponsored by Trojan
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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