the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You ruined the universe
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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