nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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