Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
