i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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