my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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