I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
