i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
