So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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