He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
