best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
