My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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