we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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