We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
