Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
