i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
