How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize