I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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