The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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