I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
