Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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