Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
