So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
