I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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