It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Randomize
