mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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