There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
