Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
