your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm always down for nudity.
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