woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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