he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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