He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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