Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize