all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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