cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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