found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
