Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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