in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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