Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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