I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
