You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
