Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize