he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Terrible idea I love it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
