Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
