Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
