you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
