i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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