I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
