I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
