What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
a search helicopter?!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize