The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
