ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
