I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just googled if crying burns calories
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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