Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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